Home Can you hear my whispers across the expanse between us? Do you know you are always with me in some small way? I see you, naked, but cloaked from most who look upon you There are broken things inside you You hide out in the open but they aren't what make you They have never broken you in full Like me, you pick the pieces up and heal expressing the pain and the grief in a very public way but, most do not recognize it for what it is And we move, and we heal and we release With the help of ears and eyes So we are whole again And the ones who broke those places in our hearts no longer become just ours They become everyone elses and it hurts so much less until it falls away, like a distant memory of another life, not our own Naked What a word One without a triple x rating Nothing lascivious here We spend so much of our time hiding in layers upon layers of emotional clothing but, you and i, we stand naked and unashamed before the masses They just don't always know it Their depth perception if off I wish i could share my words with you whispered in your ear Like a lovers sweet, secret language With only you understanding where it comes from within me You would you know, understand me I would hear you too Every word, every breath, every pain I would brush your tears away Plant sweet gentle kisses upon your eyes To heal your suffering I would draw it out like poison Easing the bleeding from your open wounds Until they were gone Leaving only a faint scar You live in this place in my heart Despite having never looking into your eyes never been close enough to sense you, feeling you in a room There was a hole there once A hole i felt, but did not understand what needed to fill it it was shaped like you, your art, your pain, your heart its filled now, but, lightly Longing for something more Something bounteous Something with more weight to it Something real More you, not just the shadow i have now You are like a paper doll for me I want you in my life as flesh and blood I sit and i sigh and i long for connection For bond, for friendship, for kinship, for Something others can not touch or break What i feel for you is rich with benevolence Nothing selfish lies within my heart towards you but you cant see it Life... Life has stolen that from you and I Circumstances I loath that word, that fact You will never know how i feel never know me never see me, never feel me never look into my blue eyes Never see how we could relate to one another so sweetly How we could feed each other in heart and mind. This grieves me brings hot, stinging tears falling from my eyes Staining my cheeks Because your heart feels alot like mine Your words nourish and strengthen me in a way i have not felt in so long I have been ravenous for 15 years now but, what i have now, is table scraps, keeping starvation away, but leaving me hungry It is so erroneous the way life has made you impossible to have in my life For you to know me as well, because i know i could feed you in all the same ways I know. You feel like home to me You are at home with me, if you were to choose Safe, secure, loved, and understood Dust i think of you all the time so much so, i can almost taste the dust of your flesh in my mouth from kisses shared on the sly I know if i have you you will break me but the pain is worth the pleasure because you are something different you are something beyond You are the man i asked God to create for me in every way in every single blood cell I ache for your lips your touch on my flesh breath on my neck whispers in my ear The inability to protest The total lack of desire to say no or to be a good girl That's what you do to me you make me wanton in my wanting I will have you i will touch you i will taste you i will feel your sweet kisses on my lips and we will shine we will glow and you will feel anything beyond what your heart has ever felt before because i was built for you and you were built for me Til then i lay in the dust of alone the dust of the dark waiting for you I can drive away the demons that haunt you I can drive away your fear the broken pieces i can mend I have healing hands Soothing sweet words I can ease your soul from your long weary travels you could finally rest your bones its hidden within me You can use my body to ease the pain i will catch your tears in my hands so they don't dampen the sheets I will kiss your suffering away Hide in me all you seek to escape I will protect you I will protect you from t he dust that tried to claim you as its own Dust left from all the others before Who did not see you could not see through the facade I see you. down to your soul I know you are real i know your flaws And they are beautiful to me you are beautiful to me. covered in dust let me wash you clean Earth between us I know all the tricks men play i know the lies I know the agendas I know the head games the hurt "love" can bring I know the bravado and swag I don't see those in you and it makes me so desirous for you Wanting you But you don't see me behind this misty fog there is so much earth between us right now all the spinning, and i gain no ground I am flesh i am blood i am bone i am heart i am soul and that is where my beauty lies all the rest, is just fashion just temporary Not the real of any of us I could love you in so many ways I know it, i feel it in my heart I cant say i love you now You haven't invited me to I,however, have laid the offer on the table the choice is yours So i wait not knowing which makes drives me into madness but, i have to wait Nothing i can do can make it move forward or faster But, you see, there are these chains on my ankles on my wrists Holding me down to the earth in a dark,dreary place I see the light in your eyes in my mind I see your need to save, to protect, the broken I see the keys to my chains in your hands I see your soul So bright, with scars, and with dark places but still so beautiful I wait for you to unchain me hoping you are making the earth between us smaller each day So i don't have to live in the dark in the dreary and you can make me whole Message in a Bottle Did you get my message in a bottle? Did you read it? Did you take in into your heart? Did you save it somewhere close? Did you see i love you? Because i tried real hard to hide it because, i have no cause to love you not yet anyway, not now I keep hoping a bottle will float back to my shore From across your lonely sea A little taste just to keep me living I have never wanted someone like i want you, love This is so new I have never had anyone i did want They never came Never were mine Not even a little bit But, you, I can not believe i wont have you in some way Anyway, whatever way God sees fit All i know is you fit into my heart you fill the hole i have had their since my birth You fit so perfectly. but, the hole where you belong, its not filled Only half way Its the piece of my heart that you own and always will, love. always always always because its been yours since before i even knew your name Its not solid yet, not concrete Its tissue paper Holding a place for the real thing not just the hope, or the promise of it I don't know why it feels like it will be real It makes me fear i have lost my mind but, i know what crazy feels like I know what denial feels like and this is not it All the others before The ones i wanted I always felt not good enough for and felt like i would never have them like knew somewhere deep inside But you... you feel like you are already mine, like you have a me shaped hole in your heart You just don't realize i am here and i fill it I sent my own piece of tissue paper in my message in the bottle try it on, see if it fits, love You'd be surprised what kinds of packages good things come in I know i never expected you, in your beautiful packaging to fill in this hole I never knew Until you were given to me brought to me in the right time and space I know i did my best to fuck it up I always fuck things up but, i hope my the bottle i sent will give me a fresh start, a new beginning for a new year now that i am better inside I was lost, i was broken and i was confused I knew what i wanted I just didn't know how to get it Patience was not my strongest virtue back then You fit. I believe i will fit just look into my eyes just take my hand You don't have to knock on the door its unlocked come right in This place has always been yours. It was created for you. Its home Like you are home to me. Rest your head, and your heart, breath out, and relax. Did you get my message ina bottle? Did you see its truth Did you see me naked and unashamed before you, love I gave you all that i am, have ben and will be In that one tiny bottle. I am yours for the taking. I am yours I was born to be Damn it My heart bleeds for you cries for you would die for you Give you anything you asked from me But you don't see me don't hear me don't feel me never knew me a tiny piece of me dies each day that i am here alone not knowing you so many walls stand in the way I have no hope I am a fool for you for wanting i convince myself we can be something to each other Its just a lie i tell myself My mind is deceiving me my heart is believing it And i spend each day thinking of you and thinking of all the things we could say and do Its not a question of lust or a question of delusion its a the fact i found you and i want you and i need you cant have you you changed me made me more me made me more whole you have no clue and i think we could be built for each other in some weird, special way and we are missing out but that sounds like crazy sometimes even to me I am not crazy I am just angst ridden Passionate in my desire it lives in my heart it calls to me whispering to me when i hear your words and see your face i am tormented, tortured by knowing it could be good and knowing the chances of it happening are none My heart wants what it wants it tells me its ok to feel like this then why do i cry in frustration because i cant get to you you don't know i exist Its not right this hell i feel i cant kill it burn it down make it evaporate i can shake it off my tail it follows me everywhere no matter how mundane the task i am completing You are there, you are there it even haunts me in my sleep you are always with me in some small way like a talisman or angel or devil just not seen with the eye but felt inside You makme me feel more alive i need you to need me i need you to want me You were unexpected uninvited crept in like a disease taking me by suprise then i begged you to stay healing me speaking to me in so many ways something new for the experience something new to me what i want is the chance to show you something new a chance to show you me damn it i cant take this anymore its driving me mad i cant touch you i cant see you i cant hear you frustration temptation aggravation longing wanting i think i love you in some kind of undefined way Which is insane to even concieve Love is for fools For the lost For the ones who still have hope not for me I am not allowed I don't want you as all mine It isn't about that i don't want to be your lust bunny unless things took that turn naturally by chance i just want you in my life i want to be in your life i want to hold your hand and hug you i want your words and i want to feed you mine. i want to make art with you and Run out into the rain I want to laugh with you cry with you sigh with you walk with you talk with you Feed you in your heart and mind like i desire to be fed by you no worries no expectations no promises no pain can you understand where i am coming from or am i crazy to you passion makes one move in emotion to action but i cant move with these chains around my ankles keeping me from you free me from these chains let me out of my cage take me by the hand and take me away from this prison have made for myself put salve in the wounds left by the shackles wash me clean of my pain talk sweetly to me relate to me save me from the strains of this condition as i dwell in this mortal coil save me from the want for that which i can not have give me your words give me your eyes if you'd just look at me and see me you would find yourself a bit of home i wear no disguise i am naked before you nothing to hide lead me away from this pain suffering in a morose refrain your silence it hurts me it burns me it tears at me Hot tears burn my cheeks dampen my shirt and i grieve damn it i grieve you could take it all away so easily But, you are hurting me You are breakng me Down, down, down i retreat to my bed lay there and rehearse words i want to fill your ears with imagine you lay there beside me just talking Like friends do holding my hand feeling comfort love and peace being with someone like myself someone just as free and i dream Its my escape My escape from this pain Pull the knife from my heart Before it starts to bleed Or will you just shove it in harder by keeeping away I am bound for the floor bloody, bruised, broken and battered unrequited is hell no matter what its for, lover, friend, whatever I am hurting i am aching pain rides me like a horse my fists beat my flesh i scream and i cry i beg God and i deny The pain, the pain, the pain its my own self is by who i have been betrayed Sweet Taste of Grey Darkness spreads slowly out through my white wings. My halo, falls to the ground and shatters. My skin turns pale. Black kohl ring my sea blue eyes. I am neither black, nor white. Saint, nor sinner. Good or bad. right or wrong. I live in that warm state of gray. it tastes so sweet on the tongue My heart is black on the outside. but, very much alive all the same. I give it to you. You can cradle it gently in your hands or you can crush it. Leaving me broken. My wings fractured. and growing darker. The black creeps like a disease. Like a shadow over taking. because, i want you. You don't even know i am here. In the shadows Waiting for your sweet words You are always with me. Creeping my shoulder to the right like a good angel not a devil. Holding me up Keeping me alive Until this disease creeping through me is gone. Bump, Bump, Bump. I stand before you. naked. unashamed. As you paint me with your heart, with your mind, your eyes. I am art. I am beauty. In a flawed body. You could have my heart. if you asked. You could have my mind. If you looked into my eyes. You could have my body. if you whispered the right words into my ear. Softly kissing my lips, The line of my neck, My shoulder. My flesh beneath your hand. Slow moving. gentle finger tips. of kind hands. cover me with yourself Every curve. every peak. My arm. my breast. my waist. my hip. My thigh. Studying what God has made. Of me. For you. For your pleasure. My love. My desire. My passion. My heart. Beating, in time with yours. Bump. Bump. Bump. I breath in your breath. your scent. Your warmth. I give, i take. You give, you take. In the darkness of a strange room. Something new for you. For me. Sighs. Shudders. Intensity. Just us two. Wanton. Wanting. Wanting. Wanting You. + Small town I'm just a big girl from a small town nothing can hold me back You are a small star in a big town making a name for yourself I like you I like your smile I like the beauty in your heart I like your words As they dance upon my mind They bring comfort and wanting To know you just a little bit I'd like you to come to my small town Spent a little time Some talking, go to dinner Walk down by the river undearneath the moon learn more about each other be silly Do the things friends do Nothing fancy That is something i can not offer But i can give my time to you To see you as a person Not as something you are I am a poor girl so all i have to give you is me. Queen of the Unrequited It hurts to breath when i think of not having you. I want you. You don't know i am even here. I could be something new for you. Something you have never experience. Something you didn't even know you needed, or wanted You just have to try me on. See if i fit. Take my hand. Don't be afraid. Don't listen to your eyes. Listen to your heart, your mind. But, alas, you don't see me at all. You can't look at me in the eyes. Afraid you might like what you see. Afraid you might like what you find in me. Afraid you will be a pariah for it. Afraid of real love and romance. I am real, i am flable. I am honest and do not hide. My agendas are not hidden. My agenda is simply to love you. The ache, the hurt of your absence. Where you have never been to begin with. It drains me dry. The tears burn like i am too close to a fire. The fire in my heart for you. Burning passion. Burning desire. Burning down. Wanting you. Love in a Jar Today I put my love for you on a shelf Because I can not have you for myself I took your picture down Because it made me feel as if my heart could drown I sealed my love in a jar Because, i can not have you, you are just to far Thoughts of you used to make me smile But, right now I need to put you away for a while So i can protect my heart Before the wanting tears me apart You mean so much to me Something I know you will never see You are so out of reach Sometimes i dream of you and i on a moonlit beach Walking hand in hand Digging out toes int he sand Laying looking at the stars but, you are just to far I cant dream of you any more Because it makes me ache to my core My love for you sits ona shelf in a jar Byut still a small piece of you lives in my heart Truest My eyes are still blue like ocean waters My skin the color of white sands My hair the color of a scarlet rose My smile is wide and open My touch is as tender as the night I will make some man happy one day With a pure heart A burning passion for life My strength will only make him love me more He will be creative just like me His kind hands incapable of harm His kisses will warm me down to my toes His touch make me quake I will love him and do the best i can I will be faithful I will never say goodbye When we walk he will always take my hand I know this as fact It burns in my heart like the truest truth. Broken Doll Once upon a time I was broken down Broken, world weary Tears came more often than not I always kept my head down Couldn't look anyone in the eyes Like a broken doll Living in a dusty old doll house Ina dark attic Lost and alone Forgotten and not missed but, just as the world spins 'round Being reborn everyday I was reborn Recreated I am back in the light of day I plan to stay here My bones are built with steel My flesh is like rubber So whatever is thrown at me Bounces off and rolls right back to them My heart dwells inside a gilded cage Protected from slings and arrows My mind is bold and strong No longer a slave to your disease My feet are firmly planted I do not bend I do not break But, I am still a woman Soft, gentle and kind My tender mercies I am lacking for little in this life Except a little love and understanding Things that always seem to be beyond my grasp I am no longer a broken doll Not made of porcelain No longer living in a tattered frilly dress. Hard I smile a crooked smile when i think of you Cynical and Jaded For what i have seen Where I have been My heart still glows With hope, with love and with desire Despite the slings, snares, and arrows I dig the tips out, laugh and throw them away I continue on My strength is rock hard Nothing can penetrate There have been cracks but they have healed men with sledgehammers for hearts Hands making fists words spilling poison i spit them out of me I continue on and i grow stronger for the experience They thought they had power over me It was just temporairly insanity Lost somewhere in pheremones And a sense of what i am supposed to be I can be hard yes but what lies beneath this breast is kind, gentle and good Pure of heart but this heart is wise This heart is mine I am not looking for my prince to rescue me anymore I am rescuing myself baby but, you can come along for the ride keep me company Share a little mind, a little love And i will make it worth your time You wont regret trying me on for size see if i fit Just look inside Inside is the key For a strong woman can still be soft A strong woman can still steal through the night like a lover Without losing herself but, you could make me better, stronger still And i could make you more make YOU better as well You dont need a key baby, the doors open, it is all up to you whether you walk in and say "honey I'm home" or not. I am not sitting anxiously waiting Demure and doe eyed I am living my life You'll have to catch up with me because i am moving fast but, i still want you along for the trip Pack a bag, you'll be around a while because, once you have tasted my strength placed your hand on my heart You might want to stick around a while once you have tasted me Liquid I am fluid I am liquid I am the ebb and flow I want something of my own Something for my self And Lord knows I am trying Because try is all i have to give Hard as it may be not to settle in the warm cozy arms of fear And except defeat before it even comes Because, it is safe I am just a girl untrained in anything Untrained in life But, i am strong I have legs to stand on that do not break they do not bend My grip is sure I see it, want it and I take it Defeat is for those who get left behind Too busy staring at the sidelines for approval From meaningless masses Who will just sell you for an easy buck if you do not meet ridiculous expectations I am fluid I am liquid Pour me out drink me I drip down over you washing you clean of the dirt you feel beneath your salt And i live My chest pushes out this breath to make the words that are my art You are my future You will see I am yours We will knock down walls and small minds together a force to be reckoned with because together we are one Two halves of one whole seperated at birth by circumstance not of our choosing Together we are family We are love together We are liquid Broken Wings My wings have broken in your hands Feathers at your feet I handed you the power to break them willingly My halo is long tarnished I was never that good to start with it never fit just right It never was truly mine. But, I wore it for you Then you wore me down Wore me out Turned my life upside down I fell from grace mid-flight Fell into you You were not love You were not passion You were just solace I took you underneath my wings wrapped them around you kept you safe I let you use my feathers to dry you tears I made a soft bed for you Where you could lie saftley from the harsh light of day The grabbing hands of the world But, you broke me anyway. Filled me with a dull aching pain that bleeds from time to time And i linger in a state a state between what i was and what i will be waiting for the cure to being broken to come, mend my wings and make me safe for a change Next page Home last updated: 1/19/2007