Colors inside I know that she has hurt you left you alone And even tho' you love her I think its time you moved on Because you don't need that kind of love Love that makes you bleed, love that makes you cry I look at you and i see all these pretty colors inside But, she is casting a shadow and those colors are trying to hide She says she loves you then breaks you clean Does she understand you, does she deserve to be your queen? She doesn't see your colors inside She sees what she wants to the other she hides She needs to grow up and become a woman on her own Because your too much man for her And it causes her to come undone Always trying to play catch up and falling behind She doesn't have enough for you in heart or mind She doesn't see you, she sees what she wants She doesn't see your colors inside. your beautiful colors inside. Living a lie You lied to me You said it was real You said you loved me Then beat me down Made me powerless Stole my strength Made me a shadow of myself Made me unrecognizable You took away all that i loved Stole my artistry Stole my love Used my body Abused it too The best thing i ever did Was leave you Slap Slap across the face Foot to the belly You threaten my impending death say you never loved me Gun to the head Words that draw blood I fight back against you My gut says to run But i stay anyway Like i am paralyzed in fear You give me anger When i give you tears Its been three years now I no longer feel love for you nor fondness nor anything but pain Anger and resentment but to feel them causes me to drain So i forget you Like you don't even exist You no longer can touch me With word or with fist Across I lie here alone You lie somewhere else Across a thousand oceans Across the universe Across all time I want to meet you In some time and place To share myself with you To look in your face Tell you my story and you tell me yours Mind to mind, heart to heart I see myself in you Somehow we share some parts But, i lie here feeling alone No one is like me closer to home I am a stranger in a strange land Even tho' i was raised here I don't think they understand I feel foreign, i feel out of place Like i was born to live somewhere else With artists, with musicians I am one step behind and one notch below Not good enough for anyone Not good enough to be loved Not good enough to matter To anyone's soul I think you'd be different I think you could look at me and see the beauty No one else sees in my Below the layers of dirt and mud beneath the physical that disgusts You'd see i am more than body That i have pretty little things inside That sparkle like the stars Shining like diamonds Glistens like gold Things worth knowing, things worth loving I think you'd wrap your love around me and be my friend But, i am just here, sitting all alone Dreaming of friendship that never comes Sticky Your words rain down on me Sticky and sweet Touching the darkness, that lies inside me Bringing in light You make a home for yourself, here in my heart You find me in a corner, crying and cold You wipe away my tears, and lend me your coat You find where i am broken and make the pieces re-fit Using your sticky words to adhere the fragments To make me whole again I think i love you in a funny kind fo way I'm not talking romance I won't beg you to be mine But, a piece of you goes with me wherever i roam Like an angel rising above me So i'm not alone Hate Sometimes i hate you Tho' it be a sin I wish bad things for you So you can feel the pain you put me in I want you to have the same things done to you My virtue was stolen Stolen by you Innocence lost at your hands SO tell me little boy, did it make you feel like a man? To make me so helpless Get me alone Build a house on lies and you called it a home and hate me when you said you loved me The scars are still inside me Sometimes they bleed But for the most part, i have healed and moved on if we were to tell the truth You were the weak one, I was the strong Pretty Words Stop. I don't want to hear those Pretty words you speak to me No promises, No lies I just want to sit here with you right now In the moment No expectations, no worries of tomorrow Living in this brief time Looking into your eyes, as you look into mine I am so sick of waiting for my perfect prince to come along and marry me and give me a life When all i really want is some passion and tenderness with no future expected No past behind I don't have to be your wife You don't even have to fall in love with me But, be caring, tender, and just hold me I want to feel something real for once in the long run or for a moment a few weeks, a month As long as you are with me really with me And really see me and open yourself up to me fully, completely so i can see you too. And you give me pretty words that i have never heard before not filled with promises, not filled with lies Just be here with me until our goodbyes Fingers Entwined I saw us last night Fingers entwined My heart began racing As if you were mine It didn't really matter that i was asleep A unintended dream That haunts me In the dream you kissed me Tho' i said i kissed poorly you didn't mind You were filled with sadness I was at the ready with comfort This dream was so strange But, felt so real Its left me perplexed And thinking of you All day long. I know it was not real But the emotion still lingers of fingers entwined Crash Standing in the rain, in the heat of the night Drops crash around me, falling on my shoulders They feel like your tears Falling on me I feel for you and wish i could vanquish your pain Life has been cruel to you and I Hearts been broken, left bloody and bruised We both have lived lies we were taught believe Only to find out that love was never there Feeling broken and used No one ever warned us to be careful who we give our hearts to To be careful to trust No one ever told us. That love can be painful, love can be cruel Love can crash you back down to earth Make you feel like a fool I feel you floating above me today Not quite an angel, but you sometimes feel that way Your tears are crashing down on me I can taste them so clearly Salty and sweet I cry a little but not for myself I cry for you and the pain you've felt. As i stand alone in a summer nights heat. Slave Sometimes i feel like I'm your slave Sometimes i cant get you out of my head I have so many words to say to you But you'll never hear them Or feel the love within them I am just living an imaginary life I don't know what to do with these things i feel They belong to you, but, will they ever heal You feel so close to my heart Even though we're far apart I miss you thought we've never met I try so hard just to forget Your face, your words, your melody And all the things you did for me. So, until i can, i will be your slave. Little lies She lies to you, when she says she loves you Yes, she wants you, But as her possession You're her favorite obsession She is like a disease You are addicted to her sickness It feels good ot you To know that you are wanted But are you really happy? Because i see you cry each time she says its over She plays head games Messes with your thinking She stomps your heart and seethes with jealousy Over nothings and never could be's She tries to control how you express yourself She doesn't like it if its not about her She doesn't see the man that you are inside She is just a little girl, playing big girl games Does she even know you? Does she even care? She whispers little lies Into your ear, in the bed you share. No rest for the wicked Give me a little peace Bring me my release from the fight inside myself That i battle everyday I have hunger I get no rest From my own mind Its my own worst enemy My heart betrays me My soul endures Barely breathing I need a cure To heal me from thoughts of you That leave me tempted Til i come unglued Its a struggle to stay sane Some days, i lose the fight Especially when I am alone at night No rest for the wicked ones NO rest for me pitiful and dejected lost and alone Monkey I am a monkey See no evil Speak no evil Hear no evil But, sometimes i fail My words are wrong My ears uncovered My eyes wide open It is good, i think to let it in in small bits So, my naïveté' won't do me in Sometimes there is conflict within my heart Between the woman of flesh and Saved soul One wants one thing The other says no I feel split in two Can you understand this war inside me? If i told you the truth Because, I can't tell anyone Not my friends Not my family Sometimes i just pretend Go through the motions of a saint When i am a sinner and make mistakes Venus Demilo Sometimes i feel Like i have no arms Like the Venus DeMIlo But, i still have my charms Sometimes i feel Like i am blind Like lady justice Sometimes i feel Like I know you But i really don't I sometimes wonder if you could see me For everything I am All my pretty things I keep hidden From the world Because rejection Kills Ridicule burns It don't wash off Like the mud Slung at me For no reasons i comprehend So much cruelty in this world Makes me wonder If its worth it all So i am hiding inside my head Keeping my heart and soul fantasy fed It brings relief Its a cold comfort for me To imagine What could be If all was perfect and fit just right Its what helps me sleep through the night Sleeves She has scars beneath her sleeves Scars she put there herself she hides them so no one sees What pain and suffering had her made them Sometimes she thinks too hard Sometimes she feels too much Sometimes she folds like a house of cards Sometimes she begs for just one touch But that never comes Alone making herself numb She wants to feel loved She wants to give love too But,men just see her like she's something beneath their shoes This fact can make her rage this thought can make her cry This thought makes her feel caged This thought makes her wonder why Desperately seeking a similar heart Waiting for her love life to start Standing in the corner ina pretty dress Hoping no one notices she is a mess. Break me You are afraid you might break me But, I still want you anyway Yes, you could break me By running away, using me, lying to me or saying goodbye So, give me comfort Give me kisses Wrap your strong arms around me Tell me you want me Tell me you need me Just don't run And i will give you all that i am Make you feel like you are the only man in this world who can make me feel anything good, anything real. I will take your hand I will wrap myself around you in a warm and safe place Alone together I will be your harbor in the storm I will be your muse I will take you deep into my heart I will seek out your deepest places To find you. The real you The only you that matters to me. Sitting, on a blanket In a field of flowers A warm spring day You playing guitar singing softly And i look into your eyes and i see your soul You see mine And in that moment we understand each other We connect to one another and know, everything is fine Yes, you could break me. Break me down But, my heart says trust you I want to trust you Can i trust you, not to break me? Happen to me You are the best thing to happen to me in a long time You opened up a new me Made me who i should be And i thank you for that turning fiction to fact If you knew that i existed I doubt you could resist it The desire to be Closer to me You'd want me as a new friend Someone on which you could depend That's what i would be And i'd let you see All the pretty things inside me The pain and joy that made me Who i am Since i began I'm grateful to you for doing all you do If i knew ya So softly I'd whisper in your ear Things your heart would hold dear Of an Angel From your mouth come words that penetrate through my skin Lips of an angel Eyes filled with soul Kind hands Great mind Melodic voice sounds like home to me Soul so deep Heart like mine Eyes of an Angel That don't look at me Serendipity brought me you Determination will bring you me Or fate or God Or whatever makes up makes up those rules of who belong to each other In some kind of way Lover, friend or family You feel like you are mine In a strange but nice place in my heart Not to own or possess But to talk and to play If you could see me too, i firmly believe You'd feel the same things Once you looked inside me And saw the things in me that are a lot like you All the beauty and love Pain and scars All my pretty things and dark things So much like yours Tempted Deep within my belly The feeling comes I looked into your eyes You whispered in my ear Shiver, shake I can't catch my breath I know you will hurt me But, i do not care Right now it feels good To be caught in your stare Butterflies, dragonflies flutter inside It feels like falling Falling from grace Sweetness i taste upon my lips Comes from you The feathers fall from my wings My halo becomes askew Saint yet sinner Tempted by you. Slow burn I am much more than what you see I have love to give I have a heart to open I have lips to kiss I have arms to hold i feel love I feel passion But no ones wants me I am a abomination to men's eyes No one desires my lips to theirs Makes me feel like i am inhuman unworthy nothing So i burn Slow and low Burn for a little concupiscence Wicked as it may be I desire it, even though i am told not to The craving The desire is a slow burn wearing me down Will i fall out of some primal need Will i stand by my beliefs Do i even believe in that rule anymore The suppression of the burn When i lay in bed My thoughts always turn to the things i am forbidden to have If given the chance would i give in? Would i let you come to me and tempt me to sin I am human, i have those needs My celibacy leaves me wanton Hungry Frustrated and deprived Welcome to the show Welcome to the show But before i let you inside there is something you should know I am not your normal kind fo girl I don't dumb down to win your affections I don't put on too much makeup or too much perfume I don't strut around in high heels I speak my mind, honestly and direct I always tell the truth even if it puts a noose around my neck I don't bat my eyelashes and giggle like a girl I like to talk about deep things art, music, the state of the world I am not impressed with flowers I don't require a ring Just give me your mind and maybe a little song you like to sing What i need from you, i want to make this clear Is honesty, fidelity, creativity, and a good lacking of fear You have to be intelligent You have to make me laugh You have to burn with emotion and passion that will keep me coming back I want you to know who you are, before i let you know more of me I expect you to be open, and truthful just like me But be a little different than i am enough to keep it interesting Keep me wanting more I also want to tell you before i open this door Your heart and mind are your most important body parts the rest is all just for show Yeah your nice to look at But baby we all get old outer beauty fades but not the beauty within So that soul of yours better shine or you aren't coming in I am not like the other girls i have seen you with before I feel emotion deeply I have levels to explore You ask what can i bring to you A kind heart, loving arms and lips that part just for you I will make you laugh and hold you when you cry I will always be here to listen with no questions about why I will give to you my earthly charms for you and you alone I will make my mission your pleasure Whether away or at home Though i do require that you reciprocate it will never be about keeping score or wondering how i rate I will smile in the morning when you crawl from your bed i will tickle you in soft places I wont play games with your head I will kiss you with the passion of a thousand love lorne saints I will shiver when you touch me I will never play it fake I will love you unconditionally Might even like your flaws If you can love mine as well We should always get along You stay So you are 22 years old And no man has ever told you that you are beautiful or desirable you have never been kissed never been asked out And this man comes along tells you you are beautiful and sexy and he wants you You don't want him you don't even like him But he touches you and it feels good and you haven't felt something good in a long time and he feeds your emotional needs So you stay you do things you are ashamed of things you don't even believe in and he says "marry me" and you think he is the last train out of town you think no other man is ever going to want you since no one has ever wanted you before So you marry a man you are not in love with A man you don't even find attractive and you settle The first time he gets violent its against the car, not you You freeze and cant talk to him for a while The second time its throwing a glass and you go off on him the first time he hits you, its not a punch, but a slap on the leg in anger You don't know if it counts And you stay he threatens you when you argue, tries to hold you down. and you bite him to get away all these shades of gray You hate the violence he brings out in you in self defense You hate how it makes you feel you hate the rage he moves you to and you stay He slams you around by slamming the breaks of the car he tries to pull you out to leave you on the freeway but you fight and wont be moved He kicks you in the stomach you hit back. You don't know what to call it so you stay He points a loaded shotgun at your head telling you to stop crying or he will blow your head of You know you should go But by now, you cant take care of yourself So you remove the guns from the house and you stay you think you have no choice from then on he does not hit He threatens though and you stay, because you have no place to go You cant support yourself You are very sick and need care Then he cheats You no longer trust his fidelity Something that you thought you always could trust he was mean, but faithful he loses his job He loses his mind and you stay, because who else is going to want you now? He tries suicide and fails he drinks and does drugs Blowing twelve years of sobriety You know the monster he was when he was not sober The things he did to harm women and children he tells you he hasn't loved you for a long time If he ever did at all You were living a lie and he leaves he sleeps around telling you every detail you break and you debase yourself begging him to come back because you are afraid and he toys with your affections plays mind games and lies to you and you beg more then he divorces you and you get angry you tell him so the last time you see him and he vanishes from your life after eleven years together and your anger rages for months on end Til it tries to consume you You suddenly remember every thing he said and did that hurt you and you want to hurt him back You have the ammo You want to destroy You want to see him bleed, like he made you bleed you seethe you could destroy his new marriage with one sentence A marriage he entered into 33 days after the divorce And they have a baby on the way in 4 months But you don't. You move on You get therapy And try to figure out why you stayed Try and figure out how you became THAT woman The kind of women you loath and pity You get better no longer broken You get healthy and are no longer sick You are getting healthier every day And you care about your health now Whereas, you were just waiting to die when you were with him Or maybe you were just hoping to die You think you have found a way to take care of yourself in the future for now you bide your time with help when you look in the mirror you say "hello beautiful" You never saw beauty there before and you don't care if you have a man Though having someone to kiss would be nice You don't care if you get no touch because you are happy now Happy with yourself Happy to be fully living again and when love happens it will be right this time you are fine alone until then So you stay. in your single home, with your single life creating, making art, making a life You glow, others say you are back from exile where you dwelled You re-find your friends and family You re-find YOU. and you like you Something you could not do when you were with him because his hate for you was reflected in your own soul To the point not only did he abuse, but you self abuse You see the world with new eyes You see yourself with new eyes too And you live. You breath. You feel. You are no longer afraid. You are strong. and no one can break you now. Next page Home last updated: 12/23/2006