Violence I am so angry Boiling with rage At the fact no one gets me NO one sees i am afraid I want to beat own the walls throw my telephone down the hall take my tv and smash it to bits throw my body around in fits punch out the windows punch down their lies Thrashing around Until i am bruised and bloody and breathless and broken Screaming until i have no voice crying til i have no water Then i want to leave run far away and start over. a new life a perfect life with a perfect man where is he? does he exist Will i ever be loved or will i be forever left with a clenched fist Issues Run I want to run Far away from Who I am Who i make people believe i am I want to go somewhere where no one knows me They have no memories of the before times... I want a new life I want to kill the old life Left bloody and still No ex-husband NO dead babies NO life wasted for 10 years I want to go back to 1983 And not let my dreams for myself be crushed on the floor I want to have taken my talent Cultivated it Go to California Make a name with it And laugh in the face of those who laughed in mine But, my body is broken Like my heart Like my spirit I feel so discouraged I feel so low I wish i could go back with what i know now and could have known it then Oh so discerning Wordy and wise so easily defeated and on the ready to cry I have issues. Stacks of issues But they only mask the beauty inside Crazy People call me crazy Think i have no grip on reality Because i talk too much about 'Things that mean something to me They call it obsession They call it insanity But they don't see inside me They don't see where i am real They just see a perception From my too many words and too many things i feel It makes me want to lock myself away IN my house It makes me want to give up Trying to live a normal life Like everyone else Because i am not normal I am not like everyone I see things different I feel emotions beyond What the average person does Because emotion is all i am Do you think I don't want someone to love me to be my companion? I am not running from it I am not hiding NO one wants me My choice is taken from me by rejection Life is hard for me Everyday a fight and struggle Just to get up and walk Through all my pain Pain in my flesh Pain in my heart Pain in my scars Not being understood by people kills me a little bit at a time I'm not crazy I know real from fantasy My reality is constantly tormenting me No rest for me No relief for me I am just a poor girl you think is crazy Machine I am your machine Always running for you Take me home with you Take me away from here From these people and their dry dusty ways Their impassionate ways They bleed me dry Save me from these dreadful days Take me away Take me away from here Save me from myself I am on self destruct This town, this place Is killing me Soul Suckers all around Vampires feed on me Carry me away to your home To a place where These vampires don't roam Don't take my blood, my heart and run it down Down into the ground The lies i am told The fakery sold as real Take me away dear I'll be your machine.... always burning for you Unashamed Naked Unashamed Flesh flawed White like porcelain Soft Warm Heat Rising Your Hand Touching me Drink me in I am water I am new I am love I am passion I am yours Candlelight Music I feel you here Lips brush against mine Heart beating Like yours in time Anticipation As you move bodies collide Become one movement Rising Deep in motion Pure emotion Whispers No promises no lies entwined Soft Warm Delicious Sweet Breath on flesh Inhale you Wanting More IN the moment Here with you Feeling Shudder Shake Exhale Touch I dare you to touch me I dare yu to try something new A girl you would not have thought of before A girl not like the other ones I know i am not your usual brand But i may surprise you You may like me How will you if you don't try? Can you see my lips Ripe and waiting for your kiss I am not a pretty girl Not like the ones in your world But, beauty fades I have something better that's not on display Step inside and see me With my touch i will make you shudder Feel my breath on your neck As i whisper a sweet something in your ear Come hold my hand touch my face breath in me Connect with me in a new way Unlike any you have felt before the most colorful things come in plain packages I am unused, almost pure and innocent But i still burn and you might see me as heaven sent You cant know what you are missing until you take a chance and try Even if we don't go anywhere You will be better for it Taste my sweetness on your lips You will fall with just one kiss Breathe The air escapes my chest with the lowering of my breast It can get so hard to breathe Just living is so hard you see In this body that betrays me I look into the eyes of a stranger I seek solace i seek same I am so tired these days Why cant i rest? What is this restlessness stirring inside me Why cant i find my peace Seeking arms, seeking lips Seeking someone to help me breathe lend me breath, lend me love Lend me romance and make me whole Why cant i be whole on my own? Because God said it is not good for man to be alone or woman. I am a woman Ample breasts, curved just so soft skin from head to toe muscles tense with wanting more I have so much to give, so much to share So much to lend you But you never come and i cant breathe here without you I am trapped in ice, waiting for you to come frozen in time, frozen in limbo waiting to breathe. Falling Falling I'm falling up and falling down Crying, i'm crying With out sound I didn't want to find you I didn't want this pain But, you came and invaded my life Without my permission Seeing, I'm seeing Things in you I never would have expected It makes me want you But, I know that I will be rejected Because I am not a pretty girl My body holds no beauty I don't think you could look beyond This shell and so you could see me Beauty, I have beauty Its just not on the outside I hide it, save it Because no one looks for it anyway I have waited all my life for someone to see me for more than my exterior But no one has ever bothered I have been changing both outside and in But, i am still not good enough I am ready for this journey to end So i can be like other girls Feel a hand against my face an arm wrapped around me A kiss or two BY someone who doesn't feel the need to put me in my "place" I want to be cherished, I want to be loved I want to be wanted Never being used Again I feel panic, i feel fear That my perfect one will never come and i will be left lost and alone til i die. I want passion, i want emotion I want someone to make me laugh I want someone who feels as much as i do But someone who is still strong Falling. I am falling up and falling down. Birthday-8-20-2006 It's your birthday I have no gift for you NO pretty wrappings no ribbons bowed in blue Because I am just a poor girl Who cant afford anything for you But, i am not empty handed I do have something to give Love and gratitude For inspiring me You unlocked something in my heart That made me a new woman So on your birthday I offer you my thanks. love with no condition for the beautiful artist in you So happy birthday I hope you like this gift It's all i have for you But it feels so good to give Downtown I am glad you came to see me From your home far away I will meet you in your downtown hotel But, will i have the words to say We will walk the streets and maybe drink a little wine I hope before the night is gone I can call you mine I know the smallness of this city I know it won't impress Because you have traveled the world I hope you like my dress I am not a rich girl money means little to me But, i tried real hard to look pretty for you Its inside where my riches rest Meet me, baby, downtown I think you will find in me something you have looked for so long I know i am not pretty My body is soft and round But my heart is pure and true I will try to never let you down My love can heal your wounds left by the ones who came before All you have to do is open up and let me in the door Bound Girl You have my hands bound with your silence Your unlistening ears have me gagged You bite me with your words Piercing my flesh Blood trickles from my bleeding heart Twisting, contorting, writhing You leave me your bile from your lips Royal Mess Will you be my king If I'll be your queen Could we sit upon our broken thrones Thrones made from our broken dreams Our heartbreak and crying screams From our lives we lived separately But, if we come together We could make each other whole One mind, one heart, one body, & one soul I wont mind if you get angry If you don't mind when i cry I wont hurt you. i would never say goodbye Would you love me Would you cherish me Would you hold me as something dear? I will hold you Comfort, console you When things just don't work out right for you I will encourage Take away your fears and lift you when discouraged If you will be a shining light That guides me when i am lost in my darkness Lose my way and feel worthless Will you pick me up when i fall? I love what lies inside of you What grows and glows, the deepest heart of you Something in me feels something for you I don't know how to define it Not sure i even want to But it feels good as it flutters inside SO i offer myself to you Waiting for you to come to me And offer yourself to me Because apart we are two halves of one whole But together we can take on the world, and make us a home A real warm safe place With no hate or malice No expectations of future distress I am your queen Will you be my king? Both a royal mess Next page Home last updated: 12/23/2006