Slide Slip on in Beneath my skin Slide inside I have nothing to hide I would let you know me Know me completely if you would just call I'd show you all I like your hands I like your smile I like the words you speak I like the things you say Those things slide inside You give yourself away You have kind eyes and a broken heart But so do I That's where we can start help each other heal Sliding down into Something new Soft and alone me and you I am not well But not really sick Something is just a little off kilter in me My soul is askew I see beauty in you I see blue skies and fields of violets I feel springs first bloom in your spirit I see great art if i had one wish Its my life i want you to be a part I saw you yesterday All alone But you aren't alone She has you on a short leash I don't think you are free I'd never chain you Like a dog Just to keep you with me Love is freedom Love is trust Love is passion not just lust I would hold you when you needed to cry I would laugh with you Talk with you through the night I would be your strength when you are weak I would make sense out of your confusion I'd never use you I'd never refuse you Love is giving of yourself Its compromise Love is what i feel when i look into your eyes Forgive me Can you forgive me for my impetuous ways? Can you forgive me for my compulsive devises That leave me reaching out to touch you too often In the only way i know how. with my words and my heart Will you forgive me for being messed up Will you accept me anyway? If i show you myself will you run away or will you come to like me? Can you taste the heartache i feel? Can you feel my pain? I wish that you could and then you'd understand Why i want you so Forgive me for my heart But it wants what it wants You could fit into me perfectly Mind, soul and heart Shelter Lying in the grass The rain pours down on me I have no thoughts of running inside for shelter With lightening overhead And thunder banging in my head I just lie there and i wonder Why do we run inside when it rains We are already wet anyway Why not just stay outside and dance a little while Enjoy the shower and smile So many people think that i am clearly insane Obsessive, and weird But, they mistake me because of my pain See no one ever sheltered me from all of this worlds harms No one has ever loved me and took me in their arms A whipping girl it seems i was born to be NO one ever looks deep enough to see the heart of me No one sees me. As i lay inside the rain letting the skies wash me clean and sooth a little pain When i lay here i begin to dream of you Imagining you'd kiss me here Take away my blues I think that you would shelter me from every storm i face Stand there beside me supporting me As i confront all my demons that have whispered in my ear Killing them with new found courage Killing all my fear But i cant do it without you by my side Alone i am not strong enough because you could make me whole Two who become one The oldest story told. Lay in Flowers I am extraordinary Anything but ordinary I am weird and wicked Maybe a little addicted I am sometimes broken Always out spoken I speak with no fear Sometimes i cry I don't always know why When i get down and low I put on your music and glow You speak to me I want to lay in flowers Dance in rain showers I want to sing my heart out Tell the world what I am all about I especially want to tell you If if i met you today I would take your face into my hand part my lips and kiss you before saying a single word If we were walking down the street to an old cafe I would take your hand in mine looking sweetly into your eyes not noticing anyone else on the street The world would just be you and me if I was alone with you I would giggle and smile look at you tenderly touch your arm lightly And speak sweet words meant just for you if you were on my door step And i opened the door I would wrap my arms around you and hold you so close not even a whisper could slip between us If you said "i love you" tears would fall from my eyes down my cheeks because those are words that have eluded me Coming from you would be beautiful if you were crawl into bed next to me I would give myself to you I have only given myself to one before and he was unworthy he did not deserve me But you are worthy i do not just give myself away if you shared your passion with me I know, it would be romance and ecstasy I know it would be right fit perfectly you and I If i told you how i feel Would you fall to your knees and embrace me would you shed a tear of joy or would you run away from me if i were to touch your hand Would you know would you instantly understand who i am and where i have been and where i want to go And that i want to go there with you and no one else If i said i would love you til i die be yours and never stray Support you in all you do Stand by your side and always love you would i be enough? Decay Take the sorrow from my hands Replace it with your kindness Wipe my tears away Drink them in To make them disappear Hand on skin Comfort coming freely from you You put a spark inside me Now I glow I smile more I live more I push breath out with more fervor My heart beats louder Flowers bloom around me In the dead of winter Sun shines on my face Where I once dwelled in darkness Everything was gray Feeling nothing Numb Life Wasted Decay Taste If you don't want me That's your loss You judge me on things that don't matter it all is going to fade one day If you would just stop Close your eyes and listen Taste me My spirit, my heart, my soul You would wrap your arms around me and never let me go Because, i have passion for life I love with no condition I forgive easily But, i still kick butt when needed You reject me but, you should know I am working hard on the thing you rejected Soon my outside will match my inside And you will live in regret Because, i will not let you taste me Though you will long to drink me in I will construct walls too high for you to climb With your little mind Your shallow ways And i will leave you laying in the dust With nothing but regrets in your hands My Muse I strike the match The sulpher floats up and burns my nostrils Embers rise into my hair. I light the candle turn off the lights and i wait. Wait for the warm to come I close my eyes My head leans back and i am waiting for you to enter the room to enter my mind your words penetrate me pierce my heart and work their way into all its crevices their fingers expand and wrap themselves around anything solid I can feel those words from my mind through my body deep into my toes permeating every ounce of me every inch of flesh every blood cell into my bone until you become a part of me an endless feeling of being embraced by your arms All by your words you and i have never occupied the same space never touched never spoke You live thousands of miles away and do not even know i exist. but your words come into me float inside me on a sweet melody and they change me They make me want to be more Live more You took the suffering from my hand and replaced it with a fire it burns inside me but does not consume It amps me up gets me high it feels like you are there beside me gentle encouragment Like you are there in spirit but never in body. I want to know this man this man who unlocked me Who gave birth to me the real me the me i tried to murder years ago She was in a cage in the dark barely breathing You came you lifted her up in your strong arms and you brought her out into the light You gave her food, you gave her water you gave her breath And she lives she writes She sings she smiles she dances She waits for you by candlelight to come and feed her soul Get her creative juices to flow like a river wet, drenching all it touches You saved my life Without even trying You don't even know I love you for it a pure, sweet love Not about wine and roses not about kisses and heavy breathing Not about hushed whispers under covers a love i have never felt before for another person unselfish unconditional Empathetic respect, gratitude I want to give something back to you I want to touch your heart To be something for you to you but, i do not have anything to give except my love, friendship and comfort Its yours to take if you want it I have offered it. So i wait As the candle burns and your words work their ways inside me and i feel a little cold comfort coupled with the ache in my heart for not knowing you It sometimes brings tears For never going to know you my sweet, sweet muse Compromise It scares me how much i want you So much i would compromise my beliefs Just to kiss you, touch you, have you I know I would just be your next ex-girlfriend but i don't care I still want you with all that I am Not just my body But my heart and my soul You feel so perfect Like a perfect fit Late at night When i go to bed You are there with me but, only in my head I compromise myself in that way You feel Like home to me. Me Big Blue eyes With a little green Full lips perfect shade of pink naturally Pale skin Freckles dot the landscape hair the color of a changing fall leaf Kind heart Worn on the sleeve Big mind Always thinking big things soul filled with color Free spirited and wild feels deep passion and empathy insecure living in transition nothing happening in her life Dreams of a soulful kind of love Strong arms to hold her at night Give her kisses that speak of no more loneliness She has love to give No one seems to want it rejection is a old friend pain comes she wonders when that will end alone sitting in her cage pondering all the could be's waiting for a good man to set her free set my heart free you could need me Whispers the pain that whispers in my ear and tells me i am worthless and weak and unworthy of love or a good man.... those old demons, they like to crawl from their dusty veil and torment me..... because, to be strong is an affront to them To see my colors to be free and alive is against their design I hear them at night Not audible, but there all the same working their talons into my mind twisting my head contorting my vision when i look in the mirror Seeing black when i look into my heart Seeing an abyss when i look into my future Instead of green grass, sunshine and cool breezes Instead of strong arms wrapped around me that make me feel safe, with him and in this world Instead of kisses that warm my flesh and make my heart beat a little faster face flush, smile on my lips Whispers that ae lies, but i believe them all the same Whispers that bring tears, and loneliness That make me seek out something in someone i do not know and can not know because i see nothing like it near me now because it is what i desire in one....one..to love I look round me and only see empty shells NO passion, no colors in them Just grey So, i turn to one i cant know and see his beautiful colors that are so much like mine. Dreaming of creating a palette together Those whispers encourage that lie Because in the end it hurts Knowing our colors will never mix we will never create a work of art together So whose demons whisper about how i am ugly How i am weird and no one wants me and never will They speak to me about how disgusting my body is How no man could look at me with anything but contempt and a sick look on their face Lies i always believe, and always have Whispers i can not shake Love letter I love you I have never spoken those words aloud about you But it is not a love of romance, no wine and roses Its a deep seated love, with empathy, comfort and relation A love that is deep, in a comfortable, calm, cool kind of way It makes me want to wrap my arms around you and take away all that keeps you awake at night The things that make your heart ache The things you just can not shake I want to share my passion for art and life with you because I know you feel the same There is this sweet kind of comfort to you A vulnerability that shows in your words A little boy in the body of a man You are bought and sold But, it is a necessary evil I fear if you saw me You would run away Want nothing of me Hurt me for loving you in my way Its a sweet, gentle kind of love Innocent and pure Wanting to give to you unconditionally No judgments No using No betrayal Just trust, comfort, and serenity That's what lies within me I hate me I hate my face hate my body hate my skin hate my behavior I hate the way I am I known i have nothing anyone wants I am unworthy of love of touch of a good man Alone is what i am worthy of lost and alone and in pain I want the not alone more than anything on this earth I do not think it will ever come I do not think I will have it Because the world says I don't deserve it. The world always wins against me I lower my head when i walk i don't look people in the eyes anymore I cry silently when i am alone and i lose hope Because hope is a lie Love, for me, is a lie it won't get better one day those are lies people tell to make you feel better Just like "you're pretty" One day are the two cruelest words in the world because what they really mean is never I will never have who I want I will never have a man who loves me and treats me well I will never have passion, or perfect comfort I will never be held or kissed because i am a hideous monster Not meant for anyone's eyes Like a festering, sickening thing repulsive and unclean So do i hide myself away? Do i stop hoping? resign myself to live without love? Should i stop putting on makeup and perfume? Stop trying to make myself pretty Because it doesn't seem to cover me because, no one can see me for me No can see any beauty that i am not sure is even there but sometimes i feel it it deep inside where no one looks Climbing walls Someone once said the heart wants what it wants But i don't want my heart to want this because it makes me ache, makes me crave, makes me want What i can not have You There are Walls between you and I Too high for me to climb My arms aren't strong enough My legs wont push me up I hate those walls but they are there all the same knowing they are there and keep me from you Brings me so much pain Disappointment an ache that i can never dull I try to make my heart stop Try to make it not want you But it doesn't listen and it just keeps longing for the it So i try to escape it with tv, writing and distractions but you are always there Is some tiny way Friend from a Stranger I think of you all the time of the words i want to say To reach inside So you will show yourself to me I know you'll never want me Because, I am not a pretty girl But, i think you could use me For things that pretty girls don't have There is something more to me Than my outer shell I have a lot to give I have a good heart I have a deep soul Beauty fades Love can be a lie Compassion can be faked That's why i want to look you in the eye To see into you See if you are hiding See the brokenness and beauty inside you Touch something deep Help you heal You can help me heal too We have been down the same road Just some of the detours are different I want to lay my head on your chest Feel your arm around my shoulder Feel you breath And hear your heart beat While you tell me what burdens you Tell me what's burns in you I want to make it better MY empathy for you runs so deep But, we have never met That's what is so strange I feel like I should know you and help take away your pain Is it by the design of something larger than we That drives me to comfort you and to show myself to you in ways i have shown no one I think i could trust you In a world where I trust none I could be wrong But, these feelings are so strong I do not feel desperate I do not feel pain when it comes to you I do feel an ache Of a empty spot inside me that i think you belong Your heart is like mine it seems And i cant say I have ever known that from anyone before Which makes it so weird for me To long for a friend from a stranger And doubting it will ever come to be Elusive Love is elusive for me Love is not real Love is for the pretty The mannequins in their plastic of this world Not for someone real Not someone like me Its been so long since i have been kissed i don't even remember what it feels like Nor what its like to lay in strong arms or to be touched I had it once It wasn't real Living lies for eleven years Three years burned down I have been alone Alone i struggle on Am i not worthy of love Am i not good enough am i too ugly to deserve someone's touch or love. Have i ever been loved? I don't think so Love the girl I have gone to such extremes To make my self worthy of love An ugly creature In the eyes of men But, I am so afraid, I tremble in the night I am never going to be good enough Good enough to love I am so unpretty Nothing sexy here No one wants to touch me Kiss my lips no one to hold me or touch the curve of my hips Please don't look at me I am hideous For you to reject me Would break my heart Make me broken Make me fall apart You mean more to me Than you could know I cant tell you why because i don't know I wish someone would come along And love the girl See the girl Inside of me Instead of this worn out shell that is not me But how can you see When i cant even see the beauty That i know is inside me somewhere If someone would just love the girl Maybe i could see what they do Maybe i could stop living in the dark Alone and lost Crying for a touch, for a spark Dying without it Losing my humanity Wont someone one come and just see me? The news makes me angry I can't believe What i see on my tv hate and war Liars as leaders What is wrong with this world? why can't they see Love covers a multitude of sins Love can conquer all If they would open their hearts And see the human lives behind he agendas We were made to love each other Why cant they see We were made to be together In unity Enjoy the ride So many obstacles to get to you But i just keep climbing up and down i do what i have to do To get to know you let you know me I'm a girl who gets what she wants My persistence is legendary I am stubborn and i am strong No need to fight Just slide right in to my life Make your self comfortable Enjoy the ride baby Something in me Likes something in you You ar so unobtainable But, i just keep trying to break through I will ya know With my words and spirit You will like what you find Just give me some time baby That all i am asking for Give me a chance to show you who i am I know you are a good man My determination is 100% I hope ya don't mind if i am a little bent I have scars ya know but i have a good heart I am not a perfect woman I have done some things i wish i hadn't But That's over now I am strong and proud I make my art feel things so big It sometimes blows my mind I have a sweet soul I show you love And respect I wont let you down I'd never hurt you baby I'd never use you You are always safe and secure with me Just thought I'd let you know baby :) Talk Hard I feed off your words They give me breath They enrapture me I wish to find your favor I can not get enough of them I greedily stuff them in grabbing as much as i can I love your words because they make me feel less alone in this world You say the things i think and have as many contradictions and quirks but behind them there is truth I wait for new words and hope one day i will hear them in my own ear Talk to me get me high touch my heart with your mind Ache I want you I need you I'd love you I'd love to My heart aches for you My body aches for your touch My lips ache for your kiss I ache because i will never have you I ache so deep inside Its like this blackness that seeps in like ink onto a carpet soon everything is black Soon, i am gone So i hide in my heart thinking of what we could be if you would just come and set my ache free Sweet Insanity Why did you come here To live inside my head Why did God show you to me When he new i would want you But could never have you Unless God knows something i don't know You wanting me would be a miracle in itself I don't see any way it could be So i dwell here in sweet insanity Inside my mind i see your face Wrapped in your arms i could fall from grace If you knew what you do to me Bring me hope and pain at the same time You aren't even aware of who i am Never spoke,never touched yet i want you man I don't think about forever when it comes to you With our track records it makes no sense i don't even think about you falling in love with me but spending time and our minds and whatever might come what be No definition, just you and i more than friends less than lovers Something slow and sweet truth is being here is murder all that goes on in my head It brings comfort but it also aches, in the worst way Wanting you, needing you And you are so far away Its nothing but sweet insanity Sweet because it about you Insane because its of a life i will never know And i feel so much inside about you i want to tell you not repel you but i cant get to you So far away from me Not just in distance in every way yet we are somehow the same How can i miss someone i never had? nights like this is when i get down so low it drives me mad body amped, but mind burned out Sweet insanity, is all That's let of me can you pull me out help pull me out By Becoming real, my love. Sanity awaits in your arms the best medicine is in your kiss will you keep me from harm? Pluck I want you You don't want me I don't know you What have you done to me I saw you yesterday You looked at me like i was pitiful with a pained smile on your face I hate that look I get it from men all the time I hate their shallow basis For divining my worthiness of love of kisses of touch They don't know what they are missing Melancholy Sunday night I wish you were here because tonight i really don't want to be alone I can feel the heat of coming tears because tonight the blues are taking their toll It creeps up on me sometimes Doesn't wait for an invitation in I think it would take look into your eyes and i would be fine Something in the way you move In the tilt of your head is so comforting to me Your words wash over me like a summers night rain They release me from my prison inside hidden in your melody is traces of your pain Pain like mine I want to heal your wounds And make them seem so long ago I want to see a smile upon your face When i say hello But, that will never be because you will never want me, I am not good enough pretty enough young enough for you Some where deep inside my heart I know we would be good together Its just this knowledge that sits there That i really cant explain Like the fit would be perfect We would compliment each others lives And provide what we each need but it is never going to happen You are never going to know The love i could give you The peace of mind i could bring The thing you want so much for yourself I just sit here alone as the tears begin to fall for the sorrow have never going to love you the sorrow of never knowing. Something that could be real could be right Should happen but you are so far away an i am so imperfect even thinking of it hurts Leaves me with ache i cant explain It makes no sense to me but i feel it just the same The tears come hot and fast now for never having loved or lost Even if i lost you in the end I would still want the journey With you by my side Gun to my head You must have been out of your mind to think you could break me yeah i got down but i rose above you and your filth Lies, betrayal, a smack, a kick, a threat Gun to my head In that moment i found my strength I looked you in the eyes and i took control victim no more You tried to break me good but you failed Like you do at everything you do because i am stronger than you will ever be in my weakest moments Any man who harms a woman disserves what he gets Call it, Gods judgment, karma, or just desserts It comes around not by my hand As i am better than you above you beyond you You never knew me at all Just tried to control me, destroy me I laugh in your face little man I am stronger now than ever And you... you are just the pathetic shell of a human doling out what your father did to you onto those you supposedly love You don't know love not at all. You toss the word around like used tissues You don't even love yourself you made me hate me made me wish for death but the jokes on you I have found my art I have found my life and livelihood and i will go to the places you dreamed of, but will never see or do I kept your name not as a souvenir of my time with you but to rub it in your face one day When it is being spoken of and its got nothing to do with you Next page Home last updated: 12/23/2006